Stick with us on this one. It sounds harsh. We know your daughter is special. But this episode will help you understand that dangers of focusing on her special-ness. We want our daughters to thrive, but we also want them to avoid the pitfalls of thinking they need to always be the best.
Being special requires comparison – and someone else will always be better
- It’s tempting to want to tell our daughters that they are special, but we are really setting them up to always think they need to be special-er, that somehow, being ordinary or mediocre, or even the same-great as someone else isn’t acceptable.
- We can see this a lot on social media – but this is misleading
- Trying to stay special – and all of the comparison that comes with it – is EXHAUSTING
Expectations we apply to everyone else apply to us too
- If I would give someone else grace over something, then I need to be able to give that same grace to myself.
Mediocrity is not the goal, but being ordinary is okay too
- “Mediocrity as a goal, sucks, but mediocrity as a result is ok.” (Mark Manson, In Defense of Being Average)
Developing YOU matters more than being special
- Finding and nurturing your unique gifts is different than thinking you’re special
- How to know if you’re seeing and developing your uniqueness vs competing in the special race.
- Mark Manson, Being Special, https://markmanson.net/being-special
- Mark Manson, In Defense of Being Average, https://markmanson.net/being-average
- Scott Mills, The Tyranny of Being Special, https://medium.com/@scottmills_56999/the-tyranny-of-special-why-you-should-give-up-being-special-and-try-on-being-unique-74592656495a
- The School of Life, Overcoming the Need to be Exceptional, https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/overcoming-the-need-to-be-exceptional/