021 - Why You Should Tell Your Teen She's Not Special

Stick with us on this one. It sounds harsh. We know your daughter is special. But this episode will help you understand that dangers of focusing on her special-ness. We want our daughters to thrive, but we also want them to avoid the pitfalls of thinking they need to always be the best. 

Being special requires comparison – and someone else will always be better

  • It’s tempting to want to tell our daughters that they are special, but we are really setting them up to always think they need to be special-er, that somehow, being ordinary or mediocre, or even the same-great as someone else isn’t acceptable.
  • We can see this a lot on social media – but this is misleading
  • Trying to stay special – and all of the comparison that comes with it – is EXHAUSTING

Expectations we apply to everyone else apply to us too

  • If I would give someone else grace over something, then I need to be able to give that same grace to myself.

Mediocrity is not the goal, but being ordinary is okay too

  • “Mediocrity as a goal, sucks, but mediocrity as a result is ok.” (Mark Manson, In Defense of Being Average)

Developing YOU matters more than being special

  • Finding and nurturing your unique gifts is different than thinking you’re special
  • How to know if you’re seeing and developing your uniqueness vs competing in the special race.