Boundaries are so important. And can be so hard! Because boundaries are so vital, we have split this topic into a 2-part series. Part 1 will focus on how parents can set boundaries with their teen. Part 2 will focus on how teens can set boundaries in their own life.
The basics of setting up boundaries
- How boundaries benefit teens (even if they won’t admit it!)
- Do preparation work before talking with your teen
- Tips for how to set up boundaries
How to deal with boundary testing
- Be firm and consistent
- Give respect to get respect
Keys to enforcing consequences
- Remember that pushing boundaries is normal teen behavior (and healthy developmentally!)
- If they break the agreed-upon deal:
- Reiterate the deal broken
- Allow natural consequences
- If natural consequences don’t apply, cooperatively decide on a fitting consequence
- Follow through (so hard!)
- Provide positive reinforcement when they do comply
- Spend time talking about a ton of other things besides boundaries
Resources:
- Set realistic boundaries with your teenager https://parents.au.reachout.com/skills-to-build/connecting-and-communicating/things-to-try-building-trust/set-realistic-boundaries-with-your-teenager
- Stephanie Klindt, Marriage and Family Therapist Intern: 10 Way to Set Appropriate Boundaries with Teens http://teentherapycentersv.org/2014/12/30/10-ways-to-set-appropriate-boundaries-with-teens/
